pocket-full-of-seaglass

-???-

I woke, as promised, at 6.30am. No bears. Not even a nudge at the bag of food. Still, I got up quickly, quicker than necessary. Fear was lingering, curled up somewhere below my throat, hammering his way to freedom. Not today! Okay, maybe a little bit today.

I sped through the first few turns of the woods, before relaxing a little. The sun was back between the treetops, and I was safe. It was the same self-imposed anti-Fear measures as always; a sprint through a dark hallway can only end with a door-slam or a the flick of a light, a bed can only be slept in once checked for monsters, the woods can only be entered with the sun. Fear constituted a bigger chunk of me than either my cynic or my optimist wanted to admit. But, soothed by the sunlight, I rocked the kid back to sleep.

The woods were short, only ten minutes. But I’d made the right choice; after that it was just road. And my reaction had just reinforced it. Last night I’d cried for the first time, almost sent myself into a panic, and managed to anxiously scratch the top of one of my feet raw. Broken skin was not having fun rubbing against the socks. It had been my first real shockwave in a while; the closest I’d gotten over the last two weeks had been the night of the storm past Côte Envers, the first night I thought I’d heard breathing. A good, if a little harsh, reminder that I did also occasionally need to chill the fuck out – but also, that maybe I needed to slow down. Each step a wince, I moved on.

Today, it seemed, Cynic had a bit of a tighter hold on the reigns, because as I made my way down the first descent of the day, all I could think about was how stupid it was that I still got so scared. I wasn’t being too nice, and when I missed a turn, it got worse. Two kilometres down the road, I clocked on. Fuck.

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid!’

Eventually, I got all lame and droopy and dejected and had to sit down and talk myself out of it, forcefully get the cynic to fuck off so the optimist could have a turn. It was all quiet for a minute. And then I noticed the little bees on the white flowers. Jesus. Finally.

In a significantly nicer mood, I followed the (correct) path this time, once again directly uphill. It was shorter, though, only a few hundred metres, but somehow just as steep. Huffing and puffing, I finally made it to the top – where the path split. Hmmm. Straight ahead or to the right? Straight ahead had no signs, but that could be a trick; to the right had arrows, but that could also be a trick.

Deciding some sign was better than no sign, I turned right. Except, naturally, right forked into three more paths. Yellow arrows, red X’s, or white arrows? Yellow stripes had been mostly coinciding with the shells for the past few days – it must be yellow. Bingo! Over the hill, a small town was coming into view. But first, breakfast. Once I reached Monfaucon-en-Velay in an hour or two, I’d be able to buy more bread, so I had the last end. Fresh groceries, how exciting. For now though, I sat in a meadow, ate my bread. Middle of France. Incredible. Insane. What the fuck!

After a few minutes, a man approached from the trees, carrying a wicker basket and looking exceptionally confused.

“Bonjour!” I said, hoping to put him at ease a little.

“Compostelle?” He asked, and I nodded.

“De cette façon?” Pointing towards the town, to double check.

“Non, non!”

Fuck’s sake.

As it turns out, right was definitely not the way to go. It had been straight ahead. And sure enough, by the time I got back and went right on ahead, under the very first branch was the little shell. Sneaky piece of shit. Thankyou wood man. Oh and the wicker basket? Chock fucking full of foraged mushrooms and pine needles and pinecones and moss and all other things which I can only imagine will be made into some incredible potions in his little forest home.

Somehow managing to get lost a further three times, I was infinitely gladder I hadn’t pressed on last night. Knowing how short the last woods were, I would’ve gone on for ‘just one more’, and I could not imagine attempting to navigate this in the dark. Deciding not to dwell on it, I soaked in the sun. My detour had set me back an hour or so, but I didn’t mind. I had all day :]

Finally, after crossing two roads and a farm, I exited the woods, returned to grassy paths beside it. It was beating down, and I could see the church in the distance. I was close!! And good thing too – my feet were aching. Climbs were brutal, even my knee had started buckling again. Regular old athlete, me.

-Montfaucon-en-Velay-

After wandering along the fields for a good half an hour, I came to the outskirts of Monfaucon-en-Velay; one of the bigger towns along the Via Gebennensis, with actual houses and businesses and a main road and a cathedral. Fancy stuff!

It took me longer than I’d like to admit to get to said main street – my feet were screaming bloody murder. I’d forgotten to put on two pairs of socks today, and I was paying the price. Ah well, I’d fix them at the church. First, though, I needed bread.

I’d learnt that shops being shut at weird times was a French thing but was s o much weirder at the moment because of school holidays. So I shouldn’t have entirely been surprised when almost everything was shut. Sure, there were a few patisseries with fresh-baked bread in the windows, but my cynic was still in control enough for that to not happen today. I needed a market type scenario with as little French required as possible.

And there it was; my unlikely saviour. The local Casino.

Which is, of course, among the ranks of Netto; knockoff supermarkets. Still, gave me a good laugh for a moment or two. But it wasn’t perfect – no bread for me today. I’d test my luck in Tence, 12km away. But I did buy some peach iced tea. For hydration, clearly.

I found a toilet and water (already??), and refilled. I would not run out today, I was confident. And then, I moved towards the church. Normally, there was always a spot to sit – for a church that’s been putting up signs along the way and on roadsigns as you enter the town, it’s not that great. Sorry Montfaucon. I guess it isn’t its fault – there’s no greenery anywhere, no benches. I don’t have any desire to go into any church I don’t contractually have to, so I press on.

After a few hundred metres, I find (a word I use very liberally, considering it was just Next To The Path) a perfect little meadow. Long, thick, soft, green grass that make waves in the wind. Collapsing and drinking my tea, I take off my shoes and doze for twenty minutes. It’s so warm, but the breeze is perfect. My god, maybe I’ll sleep all day.

No, no, no. Eighteen days. Come on! All I had to do today was make it to Tence. Eleven kilometres now. I could do it, easy. Might’ve overstepped a bit, but the sentiment was there.

The trek to Tence was fucking gruelling; not only did I pass several cheap, incredibly comfortable looking gîtes and chambre d’Hôtes, but it was hot. 36* and climbing. I took another break or two in the shade, had to talk myself out of sleeping here. Too early, come on! Basically, for most of the day I treated myself like a dog. Come on, boy! Jump! If you get to that fence you get a treat!

Up and down, in and out of the woods. For the first time, music felt like a necessity. I needed to get my mind off my feet and into the air, needed to daydream. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to make it, I’d give in to the aches. I distracted myself with a little bit of yearning, balanced it with some extra wanderlust.

For the billionth time: it was stunning. It was mostly gravel roads or rocky paths, and I only crossed a few roads between Montfaucon-en-Velay and Tence. Thankfully; the roadwalking was really starting to do a number on my legs. And it was here, while I was admiring the natural beauty, that I ate shit.

I stepped on an unstable rock, didn’t react quick enough and went slamming down onto the ground – straight on the grumpy knee. Don’t worry, I put my hands out to catch myself – only to lean too far to the right, leaving my green bag to come swinging around and give me a jar of pesto to the teeth for my trouble. Fucking ouch.

Grazed, but not bloody, I picked myself up. Slowly. I was beyond worried about that knee, but it seemed,,, fine ?? Knocked back into place, I suppose. And more good news; as I rounded the corner, I found myself by La Papeterie, the last gîte before Tence. I was so close now, only one more town. And there was more; I was back by the river :] This time, it was the Lignon, and I would follow it all the way to Tence.

-Tence-

As I crested the hill and saw Tence sprawled across the next, relief coursed through my veins. All that was left was bread, and to find the campsite. Easier said than done. It was 2.30pm – absolutely every shop was on break. Damn.

Collapsing in a park under the shade of a tree (pine, naturally), I aired my feet, slept, had some snacks and drank some tea. Then I pulled out the guidebook, trying to locate the campsite. I hadn’t seen any signs so far and – it’s 4km out of town. My god.

On we go! I was exhausted, but I knew any longer and I’d convince myself a bench would do – it wouldn’t. There were only two sleeps before Le Puy; tonight and tomorrow. I was going to have a rest day when I arrived, so only one of the two could be inside. That would be tonight. I needed a shower, and some internet. Twenty-first century pilgrimage and all that. I missed talking to people, missed hearing about their days. It was already hard to not really be able to explain the experience properly; to not be able to hear or talk about anything else sucked.

So on I walked, past shops that were still shut, somehow. No bread for me today. But hey, as it turns out? Definitely not 4km. This is why I affectionately don’t trust my guidebook! But, to give my man Engel credit; he’s definitely made it easier to get there.

The campsite is,,, pretty flash. €16.66 for a night, complete with pool, mini farm, river access (no swimming </3), motorbike rentals and ,,, donkey breeding?? Thoroughly confused at the signs I could only half read, I got settled. Tent first, leaving the mat to inflate. Then chores!

Washing my clothes from the day and hanging them out to dry, I realised I’d have to settle my hatred for pools with how badly I wanted to swim. Later – for now, there were blogs to catch up on, and old people sitting on lounge chairs. No thank you.

After brief lovely conversations and accidentally ignoring my brothers attempt to call me before he slept (sorry), I wrote, and wrote, and wrote. These fucking things take forever to write, but I love them. I’m worryingly forgetful, and without these I’d already be missing puzzle pieces from the first week. Like I said at the start, entirely the product of a self-centred author.

Eventually the oldies cleared, and I had my swim, schemed a little. Got a killer leg cramp that had my whole thigh seizing. Schemed a little more. I just had to make 22.5km tomorrow and the day after to get to Le Puy. Aaaaah ! Two days from the end of the Via Gebennensis. Insane :]

I tried to savour the shower as long as I could. It was hot water, really hot. And you’d hope it would be, for €16.66. Burning water pounding into my shoulders was heaven, and I stayed as long as I could justify. Ate a very sad little nibbly dinner, polished off a few snacks. I’d replenish tomorrow. Hopefully. Fingers crossed the French like me then.

But for now, at least one French thing liked me ; the sky. It was warm, and clear, and the stars were out in full force. More shooting stars to add to the counter :] I’d been wishing for the same thing for four years, and now that it had come true, I was sort of scrambling for a new wish. Still hadn’t thought of one – it’d have to be something for later me to figure out. For now, it’s bedtime.

So, hello again :] Sorry about the little anxious break earlier – I just figured it’d be a little unfair to only mention the good things, even if they do outweigh the not-so-good a million to one. I appreciate you sticking around <33

Oh, and in case you were wondering? Less than twenty bears in France.

---

Day 16 – September 5th

??? to Tence

22.4km

~ 321.6km total

€26.86

~ €449.89 total